April is begin, another journey starts...

Dear Blog,
3rd April was a new life to me and my family, new lifestyle, new routine, new everything. All the new things happen because Abah have to work outstation which is thousand miles away from Malaysia. It's not the first time Abah left us for an outstation, He had been posted in several places before, but this time its different from the past. This time he have to leave his native Malaysia and spent his days at the Eiffel Tower country for 3 month. For 3 month, I will automatically become the leader of the family and its not easy cause I still studying in Form 6. I have to work on something about banking, about groceries, sending my sisters to school, about schools, about their homework and my assignment, about my own routine, being stricter and fierce, etc.. etc.. etc.. It looks like there are lots of chores to do but actually I already fine with this environment cause sometimes I'm stricter than Abah and fierce to all my brothers and sisters. Abah feel a lil bit excited about being post to Paris, maybe because its once a lifetime opportunity to go there. But as usual, it's not easy to see him excited cause he always try to make it as silent as it can. My family and I had sent him to the airport and when the moment of saying goodbye, I amazed with my youngest sister who is still young and she doesnt cry until Abah went down the escalator and she started crying to Ibu. I think she dont want Abah to feel sad or something, good girl hehe.. Abah said his flight takes 13 hours of direct flying from Malaysia to Paris, I wonder how tired it is to sit down and wait for 13 hours. Personally, I feel really worry about him going to Paris cause of his illness. He had cold, fever and cough before his leaving Malaysia and I also worry about his foot because he have pain at his leg and it will really painful if he have to walk on a long distance. Pray to god for his wellness.

Another thing that will happen in this April is M.U.E.T
MUET or Malaysian University English Test will be held in the middle of April and it really makes me feel extremely afraid with it cause I'm not fully ready for having test. I'm good at this language once before SPM but I dont know how or why it slowly dissapear from my brain. I still can read in english but I dont have the power to speak or write in English. It really makes me feel terrible for myself. In MUET, you will be having test which is Listening, Reading, Speaking and Writing. I think I still can pass the Reading and Listening paper eventhough a teacher said to me that Listening paper is the hardest paper to get many marks from it. Most students get below than Ten and it mean sucks. Still, listening is not the paper that I will make as priority. The paper that scared me the most is Speaking and Writing. In Speaking, I always being numb when speaking out ideas. Maybe because less of confidence or feel extremely nervous. I remembered the first time I had my Speaking test last year, I'm stuttering and a lot of "erm" and "aaah" word rather than ideas When I sat at the chair and read the question, my head will be blank like there is no light to help me finding some ideas to speak out. The only sentence that I fluently can speak is "Good morning to teachers and all candidates, my ideas for bla.. bla... is bla.. bla.." until I have nothing to talk. Still have two weeks before the MUET test and I have to prepare myself for the current issues so I'll have the ideas to answer the Speaking and Writing paper. Ya Allah,  berikanlah aku keyakinan dan minda yang luas untuk menduduki ujian kali ini Ya Allah. Amin.