on April 20, 2010
As stated, that was the word that makes me feel terribly down.
This saturday at 24/04/2010, I will sit for MUET papers which is Listening, Reading & Writing. While Speaking will be held on 11/05/2010.
Honestly said, I'm not ready on taking this exams.
People around me are hoping for me to get higher than band 3 and it's really tense me up.
When I do some writing practice, it will take more than 1 hour on interpreting non linear into a linear text.
That is a waste of time and sometimes I can't even finish the practice cause I don't know what to do, what to focus, which one should be first, which one should be last, how to make it in an average points, what can be focus on an overview, etc.. etc.. Lastly I will be extremely depressed with myself and..........(can't write it in here or my blog will banned)...
Anyone who's taking MUET this Saturday could you give me some tips on Writing??
I'm freakingly angry with myself cause I dont feel any worry on this MUET like I can excellently do it.
But the reality is, I cant. I need an environment that can make me learn and focus 100% at my work.
In class, I cant focus on a single thing there is a lot of problems will keep playing around my head and it effects my work.
Why cant I be like the others who can score a lot of A's and make the whole family proud and have a better life???
I think, I have to repeat MUET. Such a waste of time aaargghh....
on April 8, 2010
Dear Blog,
3rd April was a new life to me and my family, new lifestyle, new routine, new everything. All the new things happen because Abah have to work outstation which is thousand miles away from Malaysia. It's not the first time Abah left us for an outstation, He had been posted in several places before, but this time its different from the past. This time he have to leave his native Malaysia and spent his days at the Eiffel Tower country for 3 month. For 3 month, I will automatically become the leader of the family and its not easy cause I still studying in Form 6. I have to work on something about banking, about groceries, sending my sisters to school, about schools, about their homework and my assignment, about my own routine, being stricter and fierce, etc.. etc.. etc.. It looks like there are lots of chores to do but actually I already fine with this environment cause sometimes I'm stricter than Abah and fierce to all my brothers and sisters. Abah feel a lil bit excited about being post to Paris, maybe because its once a lifetime opportunity to go there. But as usual, it's not easy to see him excited cause he always try to make it as silent as it can. My family and I had sent him to the airport and when the moment of saying goodbye, I amazed with my youngest sister who is still young and she doesnt cry until Abah went down the escalator and she started crying to Ibu. I think she dont want Abah to feel sad or something, good girl hehe.. Abah said his flight takes 13 hours of direct flying from Malaysia to Paris, I wonder how tired it is to sit down and wait for 13 hours. Personally, I feel really worry about him going to Paris cause of his illness. He had cold, fever and cough before his leaving Malaysia and I also worry about his foot because he have pain at his leg and it will really painful if he have to walk on a long distance. Pray to god for his wellness.

Another thing that will happen in this April is M.U.E.T
MUET or Malaysian University English Test will be held in the middle of April and it really makes me feel extremely afraid with it cause I'm not fully ready for having test. I'm good at this language once before SPM but I dont know how or why it slowly dissapear from my brain. I still can read in english but I dont have the power to speak or write in English. It really makes me feel terrible for myself. In MUET, you will be having test which is Listening, Reading, Speaking and Writing. I think I still can pass the Reading and Listening paper eventhough a teacher said to me that Listening paper is the hardest paper to get many marks from it. Most students get below than Ten and it mean sucks. Still, listening is not the paper that I will make as priority. The paper that scared me the most is Speaking and Writing. In Speaking, I always being numb when speaking out ideas. Maybe because less of confidence or feel extremely nervous. I remembered the first time I had my Speaking test last year, I'm stuttering and a lot of "erm" and "aaah" word rather than ideas When I sat at the chair and read the question, my head will be blank like there is no light to help me finding some ideas to speak out. The only sentence that I fluently can speak is "Good morning to teachers and all candidates, my ideas for bla.. bla... is bla.. bla.." until I have nothing to talk. Still have two weeks before the MUET test and I have to prepare myself for the current issues so I'll have the ideas to answer the Speaking and Writing paper. Ya Allah,  berikanlah aku keyakinan dan minda yang luas untuk menduduki ujian kali ini Ya Allah. Amin.
on April 1, 2010
At last, 1 and half week of headache cause of the test.
Thank god, It's finished.
The closing paper was Mikro/Makroekonomi and I think I already tried my best, thanks Kayra and others for helping me in learning back old topics.
Along those weeks, I've discovered a drama episode named GLEE
I'm always love on hearing musics especially when people sings together like HSM(High School Musical), Camp Rock,etc. It likes when you hear their singing, you will feel energize or moving with the flow. It always makes me want to follow their lead on singing and sing along with them.
It reminds me on me joining and led a choir in SMK Batu Muda for Hari Anugerah Cemerlang. Its an excellent feel when you gather around and sing with different notes of voice and I miss them damn much. I really hope that I can bring back the moment again just like what Will Schuester want to do in GLEE's. I remember when my old voice which is a lot bigger and my choir teacher said my voice was similar to IL DIVO's singer
I think what had he told me was true, because after I replay back the record, I heard my voice imitate the singers quite well but still need to polish it so it can shine like IL DIVO's. Sadly, now my voice is not bigger than the past but stable, cause when I sing it doesnt easily sore. I remember leading the choir and still proud of it wakaka.. (jangan jeles ok).  We sang 3 songs, the first one was Standing In The Eyes of the World-Ella, second is Solo Otra Vez (All by Myself)-Il Divo and last one was Dancing Queen by ABBA. The songs still whizzing around my head and sometimes I sing it alone while walks or humming it when exams oops :P

Still miss big applause from the crowds and the excitement of singing and dancing together. I hope I could try and make it again, I think I will

Ok, enough with my past. Let's talk about the GLEE.
The meaning of GLEE is being delight or jubilant.
Glee is a story about a teacher who was a performer in his high school, want to bring back his pomp into the new era. Its an exciting drama and it doesnt looks like the High School Musical which is so immature. It's also stories about the underdog become better and its a story that I recommended you to watch

After you watch it, I think you will starts finding their OST because all of them are talented and should be consider as the new comers that will shine in the industry.

glued to glee?
ur glee'd!

P/s: I reccomended this drama doesnt mean I'm maniac with this ok. hahaha...